The Distraction Network

Whenever a girl hits on me

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I’ll let future me decide

Published by , on March 21st, 2013 at 6:28 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Whenever a girl hits on me

Op is a fag

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Thermal injury!

Published by , on March 19th, 2013 at 3:55 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Op is a fag

Fowl frog goes to the doctor

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What’s the point in living if you don’t feel alive?

Published by , on March 18th, 2013 at 4:57 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Fowl frog goes to the doctor

Spandex sudden realization

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Who knew spandex was interesting?

Published by , on March 17th, 2013 at 9:07 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Spandex sudden realization

Too much sleep

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And I don’t even have plans in the morning

Published by , on March 16th, 2013 at 9:23 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Too much sleep

Unhappily married

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Don’t worry, I didn’t marry your wife

Published by , on March 16th, 2013 at 2:52 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Unhappily married

Generation gap Morpheus

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I complain about both the previous and the generation to come, so I win

Published by , on March 16th, 2013 at 12:34 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Generation gap Morpheus

Scumbag Steve loves pizza

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I guess he’ll have a pizza with extra baloney!

Published by , on March 15th, 2013 at 4:27 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Scumbag Steve loves pizza

Every time I’m reading a book

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I can never get pass the first page because I just have to re-read it

Published by , on March 14th, 2013 at 5:11 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Every time I’m reading a book

Awkward name confusion

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I will kill the real Phil and take his place

Published by , on March 14th, 2013 at 7:06 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , , Comments Off on Awkward name confusion

No gag reflex?

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The only good thing about having a small penis

Published by , on March 12th, 2013 at 12:50 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on No gag reflex?

Whenever I don’t get a text back from my girlfriend

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Turns out she was just too busy cheating on me to text back

Published by , on March 12th, 2013 at 2:46 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Whenever I don’t get a text back from my girlfriend

Confident enough to be myself…

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I’ll try anything once

Published by , on March 11th, 2013 at 4:11 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Confident enough to be myself…

Success kid on his way back from work

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I was so excited about it, I almost pooped my pants

Published by , on March 11th, 2013 at 12:10 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Success kid on his way back from work

Crossing the street fail

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That’s why I rather work at home

Published by , on March 11th, 2013 at 3:30 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , , Comments Off on Crossing the street fail

Hot cashier girl

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Good luck playing this one off as a joke

Published by , on March 11th, 2013 at 2:00 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Hot cashier girl

My brain likes to mess with me

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The worst part is that it isn’t big enough to get noticed

Published by , on March 10th, 2013 at 6:30 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on My brain likes to mess with me

Restroom rage

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That’s why I always wear adult diapers

Published by , on March 10th, 2013 at 3:59 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Restroom rage

Weird College Freshman

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He needed to tinkle

Published by , on March 9th, 2013 at 5:26 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Weird College Freshman

Damn it, brain!

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I can even prank myself without knowing it

Published by , on March 9th, 2013 at 12:55 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Damn it, brain!

First world problem

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No one can

Published by , on March 8th, 2013 at 2:22 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on First world problem

Whenever I clean my drawers

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I’ll let future me worry about it

Published by , on March 7th, 2013 at 8:18 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Whenever I clean my drawers

Sudden realization about Starbucks cups drawings

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Art school isn’t useless after all

Published by , on March 6th, 2013 at 4:48 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Sudden realization about Starbucks cups drawings

Success kid as a kid

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Just kidding, this happened last week and I’m 23

Published by , on March 5th, 2013 at 5:56 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Success kid as a kid

Bad luck Brian tries to sell his body

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I guess I should have taken my braces off

Published by , on March 5th, 2013 at 3:01 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , , Comments Off on Bad luck Brian tries to sell his body

Stage fright

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That explains why I am so bad at auditions

Published by , on March 4th, 2013 at 10:11 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Stage fright

How to use a towel

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My fluids can coexist

Published by , on March 4th, 2013 at 9:03 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on How to use a towel

Whenever a hot friend flirts with me

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And that’s why I don’t have friends anymore

Published by , on March 3rd, 2013 at 1:02 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Whenever a hot friend flirts with me

One of my customers said this

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He was trying to find the appropriate tip

Published by , on March 2nd, 2013 at 10:22 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on One of my customers said this

Are you having lunch with your sister?

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I think she watched too many Game of Thrones episodes

Published by , on February 28th, 2013 at 6:21 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Are you having lunch with your sister?

First world problems with my expensive car

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I had to upgrade to heated seats

Published by , on February 27th, 2013 at 7:43 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on First world problems with my expensive car

The problem with going out

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Thank God I don’t have any friends who want to go out with me

Published by , on February 25th, 2013 at 6:45 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on The problem with going out

How to get through life without college

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They don’t teach you about the Vomit Comet in college

Published by , on February 24th, 2013 at 6:11 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on How to get through life without college

Scumbag brain doesn’t like waking up

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And that’s how I missed my graduation ceremony

Published by , on February 23rd, 2013 at 1:25 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Scumbag brain doesn’t like waking up

Whenever I get offered gum

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This makes saying “no” even harder

Published by , on February 23rd, 2013 at 2:48 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Whenever I get offered gum

I don’t always talk on the phone

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I don’t know how people could talk on the phone on their landlines

Published by , on February 21st, 2013 at 5:10 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on I don’t always talk on the phone

Name drawn in raffle

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No one wanted to take his place

Published by , on February 19th, 2013 at 6:59 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Name drawn in raffle

Every time someone passes me

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Some men just want to watch the world burn

Published by , on February 17th, 2013 at 4:50 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , , Comments Off on Every time someone passes me

Why I don’t like masturbation fail stories

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A brave man, that’s who

Published by , on February 15th, 2013 at 3:01 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on Why I don’t like masturbation fail stories

Pregnant wife is overreacting

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She has the anger of a grown woman and a small fetus

Published by , on February 14th, 2013 at 2:30 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Pregnant wife is overreacting

Stupid brain schedule

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That’s why I dropped out of college

Published by , on February 14th, 2013 at 10:31 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Stupid brain schedule

Scumbag brain on using the internet

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I am not a smart man

Published by , on February 13th, 2013 at 3:27 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Scumbag brain on using the internet

Peeing is an out of body experience

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If you don’t have good aim, it is also an out of toilet experience

Published by , on February 12th, 2013 at 8:36 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Peeing is an out of body experience

Whenever my crush texts me

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I don’t want to give her a reason to friend zone me

Published by , on February 12th, 2013 at 3:21 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Whenever my crush texts me

Technologically impaired duck

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I am going to call my ISP

Published by , on February 11th, 2013 at 10:27 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on Technologically impaired duck

Eye contact with hot girl?

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She might take it as a compliment

Published by , on February 9th, 2013 at 9:39 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Eye contact with hot girl?

Whenever I’m alone on a Friday night

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However, I don’t feel bad

Published by , on February 9th, 2013 at 12:52 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Whenever I’m alone on a Friday night

Best skeptical third world kid

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That’s just evil

Published by , on February 7th, 2013 at 9:18 am. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Best skeptical third world kid

After a one night stand

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It could have been a normal relationship, but after getting this text, I decided it was a one night stand

Published by , on February 6th, 2013 at 7:45 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , Comments Off on After a one night stand

Good guy soviet Russia

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That explains why Americans are so smart now

Published by , on February 6th, 2013 at 1:44 pm. Filled under: Animal Memes Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Good guy soviet Russia