The Distraction Network

Why did the mother clam punish her children?

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They got served!

Published by admin, on March 18th, 2013 at 1:58 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Why did the mother clam punish her children?

Lame pun coon

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I can’t wait to hear the punch line

Published by admin, on March 16th, 2013 at 2:55 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Lame pun coon

When the smog clears in Los Angeles

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They don’t teach you that in school

Published by admin, on March 12th, 2013 at 5:14 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on When the smog clears in Los Angeles

What do you call a cow with epilepsy?

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I think jokes about epilepsy are on shaky ground

Published by admin, on March 8th, 2013 at 4:34 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What do you call a cow with epilepsy?

Mexican jokes and black jokes

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Don’t worry, Mexicans and blacks won’t get this joke

Published by admin, on March 2nd, 2013 at 9:08 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Mexican jokes and black jokes

Shopping for musical instruments

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I will put everything on a shopping note

Published by admin, on February 24th, 2013 at 1:08 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Shopping for musical instruments

How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?

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Is this racist?

Published by admin, on February 2nd, 2013 at 5:12 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?

The fish is the smartest animal in the sea

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I guess they are school smart

Published by admin, on January 25th, 2013 at 4:21 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on The fish is the smartest animal in the sea

How do you call a fish with no eye?

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You don’t call it anything, because he won’t come to you anyway

Published by admin, on January 21st, 2013 at 8:27 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on How do you call a fish with no eye?

Easter wishes

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And a tree-mendous Christmas!

Published by admin, on January 18th, 2013 at 6:58 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Easter wishes

I saw something at the market today

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I guess it was marketed to a different kind of audience

Published by admin, on January 16th, 2013 at 3:00 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on I saw something at the market today

Did you hear about the circus fire?

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Don’t trust the bad joke eel, he’s always lion

Published by admin, on January 15th, 2013 at 12:35 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Did you hear about the circus fire?

Are you peeing blood?

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I hope they don’t catch you red handed

Published by admin, on January 13th, 2013 at 9:47 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Are you peeing blood?

What did the horny skeleton ask the dog?

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I am glad they got over this hump

Published by admin, on December 31st, 2012 at 7:01 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What did the horny skeleton ask the dog?

Need an ark?

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He can make you one of Biblical proportions

Published by admin, on December 30th, 2012 at 9:37 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Need an ark?

I don’t know how to juggle

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That explains why there are no women jugglers

Published by admin, on December 29th, 2012 at 7:05 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on I don’t know how to juggle

What kind of computer is best for music?

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A Dell.

Published by admin, on December 27th, 2012 at 3:48 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What kind of computer is best for music?

What did one ocean say to the other?

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At least none of them stormed out this time

Published by admin, on December 23rd, 2012 at 9:00 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What did one ocean say to the other?

Bad joke eel on serious accidents

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He died a while after, I guess that didn’t cut it

Published by admin, on December 22nd, 2012 at 7:52 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Bad joke eel on serious accidents

Chiropractor hitting on my girlfriend

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I will be back later

Published by admin, on December 22nd, 2012 at 12:22 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Chiropractor hitting on my girlfriend

Plumbers and Eskimos

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I seal what you did there

Published by admin, on December 20th, 2012 at 1:55 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Plumbers and Eskimos

Dangerous scenario

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Maybe if they majored in mining, they wouldn’t have this problem

Published by admin, on December 16th, 2012 at 1:22 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Dangerous scenario

Why was the broom late?

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You wouldn’t want to mess with it

Published by admin, on December 14th, 2012 at 11:32 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Why was the broom late?

Simba was walking too slow

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I was starting to hakuna matata

Published by admin, on December 4th, 2012 at 2:03 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Simba was walking too slow

Did you hear about the kidnapping down the block?

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At least he didn’t have to sleep with the fishes

Published by admin, on November 29th, 2012 at 11:44 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Did you hear about the kidnapping down the block?

Do you know any good sodium jokes?

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Who said chemistry won’t be useful in real life?

Published by admin, on November 29th, 2012 at 4:44 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Do you know any good sodium jokes?

I have a friend in South Korea

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Ever since I told him I’m Asian, he has been looking at me with different eyes

Published by admin, on November 29th, 2012 at 3:09 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on I have a friend in South Korea

What’s Bear Grylls favorite dish?

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If you don’t get it, urine trouble

Published by admin, on November 27th, 2012 at 5:12 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on What’s Bear Grylls favorite dish?

What does a clumsy DJ do?

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Bad Joke Eel sure knows how to mix it up

Published by admin, on November 24th, 2012 at 6:34 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What does a clumsy DJ do?

Daycare situation

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They had to read him his rights because he can’t read yet

Published by admin, on November 19th, 2012 at 3:00 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Daycare situation

I don’t know how to feel about my beard

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I guess it was a hairy situation

Published by admin, on November 11th, 2012 at 1:32 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on I don’t know how to feel about my beard

What does a dyslexic zombie moan?

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If you want to get it, you have to put your mind to it

Published by admin, on November 9th, 2012 at 5:38 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What does a dyslexic zombie moan?

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

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His dreams were crushed

Published by admin, on November 7th, 2012 at 11:38 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Why did the can crusher quit his job?

What’s Kony’s favorite rapper?

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An army couldn’t stand between them

Published by admin, on November 6th, 2012 at 10:14 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What’s Kony’s favorite rapper?

Confucius bad joke eel

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I guess that’s why seafood makes me sick

Published by admin, on November 4th, 2012 at 5:34 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Confucius bad joke eel

I took a color blind test the other day

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Eye see what you did there

Published by admin, on October 30th, 2012 at 3:11 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on I took a color blind test the other day

SOPA

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That explains why I hate my father

Published by admin, on October 28th, 2012 at 9:54 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on SOPA

What kind of bird sticks to a sweater?

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This joke flew right pass me

Published by admin, on October 28th, 2012 at 6:27 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What kind of bird sticks to a sweater?

What is Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?

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Puns are like a box of chocolate. You never know what you are going to get

Published by admin, on October 26th, 2012 at 2:44 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on What is Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?

You try out that new restaurant?

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However, there is something fishy about it

Published by admin, on October 25th, 2012 at 6:58 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on You try out that new restaurant?

How do you have a party in space?

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It is going to be cool, but you might not like the atmosphere

Published by admin, on October 23rd, 2012 at 7:38 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on How do you have a party in space?

Atheists are bad at math

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If you make them do math, they are going to feel like they went to hell

Published by admin, on October 21st, 2012 at 9:04 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Atheists are bad at math

How do you make a hormone?

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That’s a very bitchy thing to say

Published by admin, on October 21st, 2012 at 2:15 am. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , , Comments Off on How do you make a hormone?

Want to hear a pizza joke?

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I think I am going to save it for later

Published by admin, on October 17th, 2012 at 2:45 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Want to hear a pizza joke?

I lost my mood ring

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It’s a round, colored thingy, does that ring any bells?

Published by admin, on October 13th, 2012 at 11:19 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on I lost my mood ring

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

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I ain’t even mad

Published by admin, on October 9th, 2012 at 9:03 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Why did the strawberry cry?

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She could almost taste the freedom

Published by admin, on October 9th, 2012 at 5:26 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Why did the strawberry cry?

Order of Phoenix is my favorite book

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You should Harry up and read it

Published by admin, on October 7th, 2012 at 2:35 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on Order of Phoenix is my favorite book

I had a dream I was a muffler

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That dream drove me crazy

Published by admin, on October 7th, 2012 at 1:46 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , Comments Off on I had a dream I was a muffler

Radio antennae wedding

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It only took a few weeks and they already started poking each other in the eye

Published by admin, on October 5th, 2012 at 9:10 pm. Filled under: Very Bad Puns Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Radio antennae wedding